i get really paranoid when i'm sick. i think when i was younger we used to sleep on the floor on a mattress and lots of mongolian furs. i mean korean blankets. or at least that's how i remember it. when i was sick, then, burning slowly under the weight of a korean blanket/carpet and my immune system. my eyes better back then, endlessly fixed on the sliver of light from the hallway until there was a vertical red blade when i closed my eyes again. mom bringing antibiotics crushed into vanilla ice cream. but now the lights are on in the room and to survive i have to study opim. erg. burning slowly. in my first sleep session, my nightmare was about someone who was going to spring a rube goldberg-like concept on the world. it was to be so massive and so complex that people would shrivel up and die just looking at a schematic of it on posterboard. it scared me so much, that was when i woke up for the first time. and it was like 12:30 and i was still scared.