life is pretty cyclical for me - manic/depressive and the fat/skinny, everything else...and right now i am really struggling to make everything smooooooove. i despair at the lack of progress i've made in these four years. looking back at things i'd written two and three years ago is so depressing. i feel sticky-synapsed.

"you're so vain
you probably think this song is about you"

now watching names fade to grey and thinking about the other shoe, not dropping. the nytimes headlines the day after an airplane crashes into suburban homes on a holiday monday. if we come to expect disaster...engendering vulnerability anyway...the correspondance of my obsession with intellectual communities with anand's IQ stipend, and how that wouldn't get either of us very far, probably :^P this cocoon feeling of 5:30 in the morning.

but in possession of a sparkly yellow razor! hoping to land a job soon! who knows, who knows...