oh god, toni braxton...your voice is awesome and really a great motivation to do a good job with my finance homework. meanwhile. i remember that in 10th grade, there was a boy in our global studies class, named syed. he was muslim and one day - god help me but i do not remember what the name of this ritual was or why it is practiced - he showed us his back. which was covered with cut marks. not deep but long, lots of them crosshatched. i think it was as penance for his sins...and our teacher in his worthiness shuddered despite his intellectual curiosity, like we all did. syed had this really red badge of courage attitude towards it which i remember seemed very hollow to me. this weekend has been real educational, as i keep saying, and i feel so bad about myself and other people and excoriation and i want to go away or relive or in some way render myself less naive and hurt. and it's almost three o' clock and i haven't accomplished a thing today, despite the snow. oh, we held a focus group and watched joe millionaire. that was fun. and i baked more cupcakes, which came out much better and faster than the first ones. that was good, too.