ups and downs?

at the beading store tonight, i was talking to jamie and she asked me whether i would characterize my month so far as having consisted of ups and downs. and it's really sad, and i could attribute it to my poor memory (what else is new) or a grumpy mood or whatever, but i can't think of too many highs. other than the ones that could have happened regardless of whether i was here or not. like buying a teen vogue (vogue girl) or happening upon a street fair where you could make re-usable pads.

which is not to say that i don't have some great teaching moments, or that i don't really like some of the teachers at school. or that the weather on sunday was really nice. but are these really highs? lots of bad things have happened, that's for sure. like my vice principal asking me whether i could spend half of my vacation working. or erasing my ipod memory. or having problems with both my us and korean bank accounts. or breaking up with won. or having to work with someone who has said: "the other english teachers didn't really want a native speaker to be teaching here ... they were irritated that you were coming" and "i thought the students would be able to answer a simple question like 'how are you' after taking your class. but they're still clueless!" and something else, which i don't remember now. and thinking i lost weight, but then realizing that it was just water weight or some time of the month. and having my dry clean only dress put in the laundry. realizing that my host sister is kind of self-centered and spoiled (albeit in a cute and precocious way). being told that my work clothes are inappropriate.

and now that i write these things, they all seem so petty. not like downs but like life. and the life that i was seeking out when i even decided to come here! not the easiest one and full of ridiculous frustrations that are easily overcome by reason or a little initiative. and my impatience and my lack of sensitivity (nunchi) are nowhere near subsiding. and i can't eat rice anymore. and ... who knows. this weekend i'm going to "the hawaii of korea". forced happy interactions :^D